A nation run by children

But first, the rest of Laos. I made my way south through the remainder of Laos. The last place I hit was Si Phan Don (literally "4000 islands"). After one of the most memorable Sawngthaew rides I've ever taken plus one rainy water taxi ride, we finally arrived that gray/monsoon afternoon. I have to expand on the ride in however. Picture at least 20 people, sacks of rice, backpacks of the falangs, and one pig... in the back of a modified pick-up truck. (I stepped on the pig TWICE before I realized it was on the step-up for the truck. Basically it went 'oink!'-> 'AH' -> crowd laughing) But we made it. Not much to say about Si Phan Don. We only had power from 6pm-10pm, which made for an early mandatory curfew. 2 days there was enough, especially when we didn't spot any of the alleged dolphins. On to Cambodia!

I'm only a couple of days into my Cambodian escapades... but this is shaping up to be the best country yet. Quick example, after we transferred to our other van in Cambodia from Laos, it took all 15+ tourists 2 hours to realize we had another guy riding on the roof of the vintage (read: old/beat-up) 1970s van. Seriously, the guy got down to tell our driver something like it was no big deal. We all basically looked around, gave the "did you know he was up there?" look, shrugged, and moved on.

Like the post title mentions, this country is a nation run by children. (kind of like 'Kid Nation', but all the kids are Asian) I read that something like 40% of the country's population is under the age of 15. They all speak English, they're all clever, and they're all out to make a buck. I've never seen a better prepared group of salespeople (saleschildren?) then these.

Them: 'Hey mister, you buy my book.'
Me: 'I don't need book.'
Them: 'You buy for your girlfriend.'
Me: 'But I don't have girlfriend.'
Them: 'Because you don't buy my book!'

They have an entire arsenal of them in their back pockets. I seriously think that's what they're teaching them in school.

On to the historic. The main reason any foreigner comes to Siem Reap is for Ankor Wat. I don't know what I expected from it, but it exceeded it. It's the largest religious building in the world, has 900+ years of history behind it, was the center of one of the greatest empires in history, and most importantly... was where they shot Tomb Raider! (Angelina Jolie subsequently adopted a Cambodian child shortly there after) It really is impressive. I made the 8km journey at 5am the first day, hoping I was the only one with the bright idea to shoot Ankor Wat at sunrise. I was met, however, by every other tourist who apparently had the same bright idea... still worth it none the less. We also hit the various other impressive Wats until we finally broken down from Wat-fatigue. (and Japanese/Chinese tourist fatigue. Someone please tell me WHY the tour groups dress alike? And it's not like they're all wearing brown capres and a white top... they're rocking bright aqua blue athletic pants and GIANT visors/hats. I don't get it.) I'll probably be here a couple more days, then on to Phnom Phen. The main reason I'll leave is not because I don't like it, it's because I can't afford to keep buying 'same same' t-shirts, bracelets, and fisherman pants... at least not from the same people. (even though I'd love to spend my 401k two dollars at a time)

Until I'm further east...

Spring break Vang Vien 2008!

4 days of Vang Vien was... enough. I hadn't expected to find the Panama City Beach FL equivalent in Laos, but low and behold, there it was. Sitting in a nice pit stop location on the way to Vientiene, Vang Vien has earned it's reputation as having completely sold out to falangs. But enough generalizing, let's get to the specifics...

The first couple of days we ended up renting motorbikes and driving out to some of the local caves in the area. One of which was a river cave. Meaning, we rented tubes and floated off into the pitch black with nothing but our flashlight and boyish good looks to defend ourselves. Fortunately, there were no boogy monsters afoot. (I think the tourists scared them off) The last day we were there we went on the notorious floating trip. Now for those of you who have floated in the Austin area... multiply that times 10. There were ridiculous zip lines and swings set up all over the places (all safe and regulation size of course... no jagged rocks underneath. (read: sarcasm))... each with a conveniently attached bar selling not pints, not pitchers, but buckets. (pepsi+ tiger whiskey+ energy drink+ more tiger whiskey= many drunk Brits) I took the day off and had myself 3 or 4 nice fruit shakes... but everyone else seemed to be turning 21 all at the same time. At least everyone in our crew made it back safe and sounds. (sort of) There also seems to be some sort of fascination with 'Friends' bars in the town. By 'Friends' bars I mean exactly that: bars that play Friends on a continuous loop ALL effin day. It's beyond me.

On to the next city: Vientiene. This relatively lazy little capital city sits on the might Mekong bank... and let me tell you something... the Mekong is something else. (and by "something else" I mean muddy and not that impressive. maybe it'll change in Vietnam) The food here has been great, and the people equally nice. I parted ways with one Persian this morning, and in turn opened my arms to the entire nation of Laos! (they just haven't hugged me back yet... apparently they're not a very "hugging" kind of culture) I did have a nice conversation with a pair of young monks on the top of the Patuxai (Lao Champs Ellisee equivalent) this afternoon. Good kids.

Tomorrow I'm off to Savannakhet for a stopping point before 4 thousand islands. Should be a good one.

Tony Ja ain't got nothin' on me

I am an elephant commander/protector. If that last statement wasn't enough for you, let me expand. 2 days ago in Luang Prabang Arian and myself attended an elephant training camp. (for the elephant's benefit of course, not ours) The follow commands are what I've retained after 8 hours of training:

pai= go
qua= right
sai= left
how= stop
boo= dance
now!= attack!

(** please note the last two were added for dramatic effect. We tried our hardest to get the elephants to attack... but to no avail)

Honestly, elephant camp was one of the best parts of Lao. Other than that, the last 4 days in LP have been awesome. The town's a mix of French architecture, Falangs (foreigners), street vendors, and loud Lao pop music. One of the days we took a 45 minute ride outside of town to visit one of the most beautiful waterfalls I've ever seen. I've said it before, but I really didn't expect northern Lao to look like this. I also got into a DragonballZ fight with a 6 year old girl at a tourist office. (which I subsequently lost when she pointed a supersoaker at my forehead)

One last note on Luang Prabang, GO BOWLING. It's the weirdest thing I know, but bowling at midnight on Sunday in LP was crazy. I've never laughed as hard as I did when I saw each and every Lao guy/girl tripping all over themselves to bowl. Not that I was any better, but at least I only fell once in the course of the night. (maybe twice)

Yesterday we left LP headed for Vang Vien... which turned out not being the stated 6 hour bus ride, but rather an all day journey. After an hour of riding our bus (which we paid too much for), we hit a small snag... the engine blew up. Not like a Chuck Norris movie "blow up", but it stopped working none the less. Our crew ended up playing cards with a couple of Swiss guys for 2 or 3 hours while we waited for some other form of transportation to pick us up. After all was said and done, we arrived in Vang Vien around 8 or 9 last night. Quick note on the bus drivers in this country: I'm pretty sure they all have death wishes. I never thought honking your horn while barreling down the road in a crowded village at 60 km/h was good enough... but apparently most people get out of the way. Or I'll put it this way: at least we didn't hit anyone yesterday...

Couple more days here then on to Vientiane...

Lao... no "s"

We've made it across the border (and tricked those sneaky Thai). After crossing at Huay Xai we headed to Luang Nam Tha. Now if the name isn't impressive enough, boy oh boy let me tell you... we had a grand ol time. The day after we got there we were off on one of the most grueling treks I've ever done... and considering I've never really trekked, I'd have to say it was numero uno. After roughly 40 hours of marching, bleeding, and getting muddy/soaked in the northern Lao rain... we successfully felt more like men than we ever thought possible. Our crew consisted of 3 Americans, 2 Aussies, 1 German, 1 Swiss, 1 Canadian, and 4 guides. We spent the majority of both trek days fighting off evil leaches, scaling unscalable muddy cliffs, debating who would win a fight between a bear and a tiger, and feasting on sticky rice and whatever animal flesh was available. One close friend of mine referred to the whole experience as "Man Day". I tend to agree with the label. (for more on Man Day, please see either Wikipedia, or arianimal.blogspot.com, both of which are credible sources)

Since Man Day we've made it as far as Nong Khiaw for some downtime. This cosy little town is tucked in between some of the most beautiful emerald mountains I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect, it's bloody hot. I'm pretty sure I've been in a constant state of sweat over the last 4 weeks... but the scenery is like nothing I could have imagined. The only thing that can put a damper on the experience to and from are the 6-8 hour bus rides down winding (and I mean WINDING) mountains. Let me put this into perspective: winding roads + David's motion sensitive stomach + 2 packages of fish chips/(square root of -1 for good measure)= an interesting experience to say the least. I think I've spent a good 6 hours per travel day with my eyes closed trying not to look at anything moving by. Other than that... beautiful country, super nice people, solid food.

We're back to civilization tomorrow as we travel to Luang Prabang. Some say it's the most beautiful city in SE Asia... but will it compare to the lush beauty and ladyboy shows of Thailand? Only time will tell. So far so good.

I also think I'm adding in Cambodia to the mix, just to keep things interesting.

The little monks room (loo)

Apparently there is more to see in Bangkok. The night before we left we ended up staying at a friend's place in Bangkok (God bless ex-pat sympathy). We then proceeded to the single most condensed area of debauchery in all of Bangkok... Nana. I don't think I'm allowed to disclose all that went on that night, but at least I can say I kept my shirt on... (oh wait, no I didn't)... on a brighter note, I think the girl really liked me. Actually, they ALL really liked me, even the masculine ones. I must look like some kind of celeb in Thailand. I was, however disappointed when all my friends got as much attention as I did. We must be the most attractive folk in Bangkok.

The next day, after a long bout of sleeping in no less, we were off on a night train to Chiang Mai. 2nd class isn't all that bad I must say. I got the top bunk, AND I could swing my lovely feet all over the passenger below me (who happened to be Dan). Chiang Mai has turned out to be a pretty cool spot. It almost reminds me of an Austin/Thailand mix, if there is such a thing. Organic coffee, guesthouses, farangs, and motorbikes everywhere... And let me tell you a thing or two about motorbikes... well, just one thing: they're awesome. Within an hour of renting a couple of the 50cc badboys, we were doubled up driving up the mountain. (we've also picked up another member for our group, an Aussie named Simon, whom I got pretty up close and personal with riding about 2 inches from each other on the bike) I think 350+ pounds of pure man is too much for some of those bikes. Regardless, we made it up a mountain called Doi Suthep, complete with an aptly named temple. The view was amazing. We spent an hour or so walking around, ringing bells and getting water sprinkled on us by possibly the oldest monk I've ever seen. Seriously, this guy must have been 150 years old... but he did tie a string around my wrist which made me feel special. After about completely destroying our brakes on the way back down, we headed out east to the silk factories. These silk ladies (because I'm sure that's what they're called) have it down to an art form. It goes like this: pull the wood thingy, press the peddle thingy, push the plank thingy and PRESTO... you've got yourself a silk tie. (all of the previously stated terms were very technical I know, and I don't expect everyone to understand them)

I'm sure you're all thinking I'd be tuckered out after a long day of motorbiking, silk tie making, and ice cream (oh yeah, forgot to mention, I was pretty much eating desert all day)... but no! We had time to find a nice candlelit curry place next to the market costing 58 baht... total. Yes, we had a dinner for 4 for 58 baht, and it was aroy! (tasty) I won't lie, I love this country.

Off to Chiang Rai in an hour... we'll see how much difference one letter can make in a city.