Today I ate a horse

But before that, let's update! After Hoi An, an American that I met and I took the night train to Hanoi. (15 hours with a connection) The majority of the time was either spent making faces at the chubby Vietnamese kid on the sleeper next to me (or rather he was making faces at me) or sleeping. It was surprisingly one of the best overnight travel experiences I've had, save for the 5am Vietnamese-techno wake-up call.

Hanoi was nice. Well, I suppose it depends on your perspective. Yes it's still huge (4 million +). Yes it's still loud, what with what seemed like 8 million motorbikes and a continuous stream of "hoooonk". But at the same time, it's better than Saigon. The architecture is nicer. Hanoi actually makes scattered attempts at crosswalks and other things American pedestrians take for granted. I spent a solid day and a half in the city, and saw my fair share of Vietnamese history (aka: propaganda). The Hanoi Hilton was littered with all kinds of "oh we kicked the French out but really took care of American POWs. Yay Vietnam!" rhetoric. Apparently the way the photos made it seem, Americans who spent time here were treated better than in their home towns... what with ample space to play basketball, cook the festive Christmas dinner, and read at their leisure. Now I've heard how some Americans described the living conditions, and I know the truth lies somewhere in between... but I'm sure it wasn't as cushy as the Vietnamese would like us to think.

On to the Ho Chi Minh museum! Unfortunately the mausoleum was closed the day we were walking around, so we didn't get to see Uncle Ho's embalmed body (he actually requested to be cremated. Ain't that a b*tch). What was missing there was more than made up for in the museum. Note to the uninformed: did you know Uncle Ho was good at everything? I know, I didn't believe it either, but I saw with my own eyes (through careful photography) that Uncle Ho was not only good at kicking French/American ass, but he's also an expert farmer, weaver, mechanic, poet, and pretty much everything else conceivable. No joke, photo captions read: "Here Uncle Ho shows farmers more productive harvesting techniques. Increases productivity by 45%!" "Here Uncle Ho explains different ways of making silk more durable. Increases efficiency by 75%!"... so on and so forth. You get the idea. Needless to say, I'm sold on Communism.

After having our fill of Hanoi, and a brief flirt with a pickpocket... we were off to Halong Bay. What is commonly regarded as one of the natural wonders of the world, Halong Bay is an immense series of emerald islands off the northeastern coast of Vietnam. Now even though I tend to avoid tour groups like the plague, we booked a 3 day/2 night tour of the joint. (we didn't have much choice as it's pretty much the only way to see the area) After several days accompanying 2 Brits, 4 Aussies, 4 Scandinavians, and a couple of Frenchies (sorry France, but I love the term 'Frenchy' too much to stop using it. You can still take consolation in your bakeries. They are... how you say... magnifique!)... I've determined the following:

-Halong Bay is beautiful, everyone was right
-When you corner a group of tourists on a boat for 3 days, you can charge whatever price you deem appropriate for drinks. (we're talking American prices for water and sodas, ladies and gentlemen)
-Tourists that visit Vietnam are pretty cool. It's not a #1 vacation spot like Thailand, but the people that do come are really open minded and interesting.

Only pictures can come close to the beauty, so you'll have to view for yourself.

Next up to bat: SAPA. After arriving mid-afternoon from our Halong Bay tour, I jumped the night train to Sapa that evening. This town (25k people) is set in the Northwestern highlands/mountains and is considerably more comfortable than it's coastal cousins. The temperature drops probably 20+ degrees as you make the journey up to Sapa. After recovering from a mild cold the first day, I booked myself a motorbike tour to the famed Bac Ha market. Little did I know that the tour would include 6 hours on some of the worst roads I've ever ridden on. (free of charge no less!)

Upon arrival, the first part of my day was spent fending off evil bracelet/hat/blanket sellers... then we came to what I was really interested in... buying a water buffalo! Sure, I tried to haggle, barter, anything that would bring me closer to realizing my dream of owning a water buffalo... but in the end, it didn't matter. They wanted too much money, and I realized I couldn't fit a water buffalo in my backpack. (drat!) I tried to console myself with pigs, horses, you name it... but none of it mattered anymore. The only thing that took my mind off my distinct lack of water buffalo was lunch. And that, boys and girls, brings us to the post title. I wish I could say that I didn't know what it was before I ate it. I wish I could say that the tiny compassionate voice in my head said "David, what on earth are you doing eating a horse? They're beautiful creatures and friends of humans!". Alas, none of it would be true. I asked my tour guide what he wanted for lunch (also adding that I liked everything). He quickly scanned the area and brought me to a giant caldron of horse stew. (less stew, more horse... and every part of the horse immaginable) I also wish I could say it was terrible and no one should ever eat one... but well, it wasn't half bad actually. I prefer the shoulder meat to the various intestines, but I guess some people like chocolate, and some like vanilla. (I guess in this case I like horse)

On that note, I'm back in Sapa soaking in the relatively cool mountain air. I think I'll stay one more day and take the night train back to Hanoi tomorrow night. I still have my Vietnamese cooking class mission, and intend to complete it before I flight out on the 5th. For those of you who need a travel update: I'm flying to Kuala Lumpur on July 5th, doing Malaysia for a bit (can you say tea plantations?!?), heading to Singapore for a few days, then finishing off with some Hong Kong and a side of Macau (and maybe some green tea ice cream for dessert).

Until Malaysia...

Invading the Central Highlands

So I was right. Dalat DID turn out to be my kind of town. (also highly recommended from other friends) The cool crisp mountain air did me well after Saigon shortened my lifespan by a couple of years. I ended up hooking up with this Vietnamese driver named Bin (pronounced "bean") for a day tour around Dalat. We saw the sites, drank some rice wine, and ate some amazing (cheap) food. A note on the rice wine: apparently it cures everything. "Oh oh this is medicine wine... made from forest roots. Good for stomach." "Oh this also medicine wine... made from herbs. Good for head." Needless to say I had plenty of medicine that day, and since it went so well, myself and a Dutch girl who was also taking a day tour around decided to hire our boys out for a 5 day trip through the Central Highlands... which I had no idea would make me so physically sore. Great trip though... on to the journey!

Dalat-Lak Lake-BMT (I abbreviate because I can't remember, nor can I pronounce the town name)-Kon Tum-Hoi An (present location). Lak Lake was simply amazing, and our arrival conveniently coincided with my big 2-5. (hello not having to pay extra for renting cars!!!) After shooting some of the best photos I've ever shot (to post soon), we proceeded to eat random pig parts (don't ask, but actually not too bad) and get started with the aforementioned medicine. I have no idea how much medicine I actually took... but the next day's ride was a tough one. At least I did get to party with a Canadian, a Dutch, and 2 Vietnamese.

The rest of the trip was spent taking showers in waterfalls (frolicking), seeing elephants, and playing village musical instruments... you know, the normal/usual American type stuff. During the course of the trip I also realized that I am a rock star. Well... maybe not a rock star, but at least a minor celebrity. Seriously, I would walk into some random shoe store looking for flip-flops and people would stare like they'd never seen a white guy before. I had at least 2 girls take my picture, and I was seriously waiting for some 6 year old kid to ask for my autograph. (which unfortunately never happened) I won't lie... I loved the attention. Ever single kid under the age of 12 who we passed waved and shouted at the top of their lungs "HELLO!!!". (the entire 5 days mind you)

Arriving in Hoi An was... well, not exactly the same enthusiastic welcome. Don't get me wrong, it's a great little city, but there is at least 1 Westerner for every 5 Vietnamese here... not to my liking. This city's also known for their 200+ custom tailor shops, each trying to fit you for a new suit, coat... the works. After swearing off spending for the near future, I proceeded to buy 2 suits, 2 dress shirts, 1 t-shirt, a skinny tie, and umm... other unmentionables I can't reveal at the moment. (the "not spending"thing lasted all of 3 days... I have no willpower)

Status: currently living in the Minh Quang guesthouse with 1 Canadian girl, 1 Dutch girl, and 1 American girl. That's right ladies and gentlemen, jackpot. We stay up until 3am every night talking about shopping... I only wish I were kidding.


Note II: Everything in Vietnam is loud. EVERYthing.

There's something about Saigon

It's been a fast and furious last 5 days in Saigon. Where to begin...

I guess the best way to describe it would be to say it's a sprawling, chaotic, mess of a city that seems to flow quite nicely. If you get out of the backpacker/touristy areas and pushy motorbike drivers, it lightens up a bit, but there are still heaps of people at every corner at every hour of the day. I was even stopped a few times just to have a conversation. Anytime someone approaches me with "hey man, where you from?", I tend to think they're either selling something or have a magic trick they want to show me (99% of the former, 1% of the latter). But honestly, there have been a couple of conversations where it ended with "oh USA... I have daughter in San Jose. Well, see you later." NOTHING else. They just wanted to talk. I also had several Vietnamese students approach me just to practice their English. (pretty cool)

One of the best stories from the last couple of days was when this 12 year old kid decided to follow me for 30 minutes when I didn't buy the gum he was selling (I already had enough gum!). Since he was persistent, I asked him if he wanted some food. After turning down a couple of Bun places, he took me (or rather I took him) to this little noodle place where we were promptly seated. (in plastic kiddy chairs no less... in true Asia fashion) He then proceeded to walk me back to my hotel, in the process helping me cross the street along the way. For anyone that hasn't been to Saigon... well, let's just say crossing the street is an adventure and a half. Crosswalks mean nothing. There are usually 20-30 motorbikes headed in both directions at all times. (meaning, towards you) The trick is: just walk. Slowly, surely... walk. It's one of those "they'll miss me... I know they'll miss me" moments, and for some reason it seems to work. Being the good Westerner that I am, I tended to look both ways, and try and wait for a good time to cross. My noodle soup friend would have none of it. He deftly grabbed my arm and proceeded to walk ME across the street. (from a distance, it probably looked like I was helping him... little did people know I was the helpless one) One way or the other, we made it.

I also met up with a friend from college who showed me the finer aspects of Saigon nightlife. (aka: the clubs) Who knew Vietnamese get crazier than Americans in the club? One benefit of being a foreigner though, is that I can pretty much get into any club based on the assumption that I'll spend my precious USD. (yay)

Part of me left saying "wow, there sure are a lot of things to do here". The other (and larger part), wanted to get the hell out of Saigon. Don't get me wrong, I met some amazing people there and had a good time, but navigating that traffic day in and day out would probably drive me insane.

I made it to Dalat today, and THIS place seems to be much more my style. It's basically like the Vietnam equivalent of our Aspen. Cool climate, vacationing Vietnamese, and great food everywhere well... makes David a happy man. The fact that it's absolutely gorgeous around here doesn't hurt either.


Side note on Saigon drivers and the use of the horn:

I have to explain this to my Western friends. The horn here is merely a means of communication, not aggression. Someone can be riding your ass in a sea of motorbikes honking his horn the ENTIRE time... and not be upset in the least. In fact, he'll probably pull up next to you and ask "hey, what your name?" with a smile on his face. It's crazy, but they just honk to let you know they exist. HONK HONK= I'm next to you HONK HONK= I'm cutting you off HONK HONK= I'm flirting with you. It's pretty much the universal language of Vietnam. (and most of SE Asia for that matter) Good luck.

Note on Asian gamers:

Well, they're insane. I'm in a gamer internet cafe right now and these kiddos are going nuts over some 1st person shooter game... and this isn't the first I've seen of it in these parts...

I will not buy anything else from kids

With the above title being stated... I now own 4 bracelets, 10 postcards, too many t-shirts to count, and a nasty beach massage habit that's going to be hard to kick. (@ $5 a pop, c'mon who wouldn't?) I bargained this one kid in Siem Reap down to $1 for 3 flutes... 3 flutes for a buck I say! Then I realized I had no use for 3 flutes and left. I think I left her a bit disappointed.

Siem Reap was amazing. And after days of saying Cambodia is my favorite country, it finally happened. 2 hours after a nice meal of Lok Lak, my body decided to clear all of it's contents (like a garage sale of my intestines). The result wasn't good, in either direction, but 24 hours of rest and rice later, I was back in action. I actually had the opportunity to help out at this orphanage before I left Siem Reap. I wrestled kids, delivered some rice to a village, and realized how useless I was compared to other people. Good experience none the less.

Phnom Phen was another world. I found a nice (cheap) lakeside guesthouse and randomly met up with a Spanish guy and Italian girl I had traveled with previously. The backpacking scene in Phnom Phen is a crazy cast of characters. From stage right: you have the super nice Cambodians running the guesthouses, the motorbike drivers offering you everything from a ride to heroin to boom-boom, the backpackers who come to basically consume everything in site (read: EVERYthing), and then you have me... somewhere in the middle (right next to the heroin). If you get away from that area you'll finally get to see some of the real city. The S-21 museum is an experience much like what I would expect from Auschwitz. It's the site where the late 70s Cambodian regime tortured and killed countless thousands of people. Then you move on to the killing fields where they've discovered numerous mass graves of rebels, intellectuals, and former affluent citizens. Needless to say these sites make for a long day. You might want a breather at some point. On a brighter note: take a cooking class! Seriously. I took one with the aforementioned pair of backpackers, and it was some of the most fun I've had in weeks. Just wait until you try my Amok fish kiddos, you're in for a treat. (the recipe is actually for "fish amok", not "amok fish kiddos". There are no children in the recipe.)

I decided to tack on Sihanoukville to the trip while the (sneaky) Vietnamese in Phnom Phen sort out my VISA... which has turned out to be a great decision. While the beaches in Thailand are beautiful, the ones here are almost as impressive but with 80% less tourists and 72.5% more personality. Maybe I'm just saying that because I love Cambodians... but it's true. I'm on my 2nd straight grueling day of fruit salads, beach massages, motorbike riding, and fighting off evil bracelet selling children. All have been amazing. I think I might just add on another day or two here before I head back up for my passport and ticket to Saigon.

My next post might be from Vietnam. (*high five* Viet-effin-nam!)